tumblr stop perplexing me with your posting bluh. i just want to talk about the kirks getting topless and wrestling with one another.
Those times when you’ve switched to being male again and Kirk is suddenly the second hottest thing in existence and you question your taste.
That feeling when it dawns on you that you know someone like you is a very strange feeling. It didn’t really affect me when they said it. It took a couple of hours.
It just gets to this point where you feel hideously alone. Like there is no one else out there like that. Certainly not anyone you know. And so you look briefly but you find mostly people your age or younger who are just as miserable or worse. So you just abandon that search all together because it just depressed you.
It feels like, I suppose, that just after a point that’s it. People like me stop existing entirely. Like there’s no hope or future for us save perhaps being depressed. Which makes you feel very hopeless. And proceeds to escalate and mutate into a feeling that perhaps the people who have told you that your experience isn’t real or that you’re just making it up, it feels like they are perhaps telling the truth. That perhaps everything you know is actually wrong and you really are just someone with some pretend problem that isn’t actually a big deal due to not even existing. Years of experience and examples of genderqueer identities existing throughout time notwithstanding. It just gets to a point where it all feels very pointless and like you are just lying. Even though you know you’re not.
Which just makes what is already a miserable thing exponentially worse.
I don’t feel like that right now though. I think that perhaps for the first time I don’t actually feel alone. Even though I’ve known that I’m not for years. Knowing isn’t the same thing as feeling. I do feel that there is someone else out there now though. And that perhaps I do have a future. It doesn’t necessarily have to be happy. I just have to know I have it and feel like I do. I can work on the happy part later. For now I just need to know that it’s there and that I’m not alone and that I’m not lying.
This is a very hard thing to feel, but it is a good thing. I am just so happy and relieved and safe and hopeful. Even if other things still hurt. At least I’m not alone right now.
that took a turn of events
Sam is this you
Yes. I am dragonkin. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT MY SECRET D:
The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.
So after actually seriously triggering me by accident Ramus decided his brilliant solution to this was to watch a Naruto movie. You know after I spent like an hour or so just kind of completely out of it.
…I just. Holy fucking shit I can’t stop laughing.
I just that series and I don’t…
Naruto is so dumb. So very dumb.
I don’t think you even need to watch/read naruto or know whats going on to know how absolutely ludicrous this is
I NEED TO CATCH UP
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED
HOOTS W/ MIRTH
#sasuke shows up with starbucks and delusions of grandeur